Some of My Favourite Quotes....

• There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened.
• A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs, jolted by every pebble in the road.
• Seven days without laughter make one weak.
• If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labour.
• Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
• He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
• I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
• No one ever says it's only a game when their team is winning.
• I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
• I can resist everything except temptation.
• Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
• An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.
• Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.
• The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind but how to get the old ones out.
• Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
• A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
• Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
• Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable.
• Finding good players is easy. Getting them to play as a team is another story.
• Art is work, to sell it is art.
• Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world.
• Intelligence is like underwear, everyone has it but you don't have to show it off.
• Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
• Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.
• The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.
• There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.
• Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
• Diplomats are just as essential in starting a war as soldiers are in finishing it.
• Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
• War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
• I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
• If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
• My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
• You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
• Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
• A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
• The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
• I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
• People who snore always fall asleep first.
• Whenever you see a woman and an opportunity don't screw the opportunity.
• The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. -General George Patton
• API design is like sex: make one mistake and support if for the rest of your life.
• The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
• I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.  ~Fred Allen
• We judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions.
• If we were meant to talk more & listen less, we’d have two mouths & one ear.
• Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
• Only 2 People r alwayz counted & credited - 1 who defines the problem 2nd who concludes from the solution. Problem Solvers remain in Dark.
• Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.
• I'm so poor that I can't afford to pay attention.
• God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.
• Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
• I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.
• The politicians divide the country by Words, while the terrorists unite it with bullets.
• The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
• When you ASSUME, it makes an ASS out of U and ME.
• Under capitalism man exploits man. Under socialism it's just the opposite.
• The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application.