Some of My Favourite Quotes....

• There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened.
• A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs, jolted by every pebble in the road.
• Seven days without laughter make one weak.
• If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labour.
• Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
• He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
• I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
• No one ever says it's only a game when their team is winning.
• I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
• I can resist everything except temptation.
• Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
• An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.
• Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.
• The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind but how to get the old ones out.
• Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
• A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
• Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
• Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable.
• Finding good players is easy. Getting them to play as a team is another story.
• Art is work, to sell it is art.
• Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world.
• Intelligence is like underwear, everyone has it but you don't have to show it off.
• Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
• Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.
• The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.
• There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.
• Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
• Diplomats are just as essential in starting a war as soldiers are in finishing it.
• Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
• War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
• I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
• If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
• My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
• You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
• Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
• A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
• The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
• I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
• People who snore always fall asleep first.
• Whenever you see a woman and an opportunity don't screw the opportunity.
• The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. -General George Patton
• API design is like sex: make one mistake and support if for the rest of your life.
• The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
• I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.  ~Fred Allen
• We judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions.
• If we were meant to talk more & listen less, we’d have two mouths & one ear.
• Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
• Only 2 People r alwayz counted & credited - 1 who defines the problem 2nd who concludes from the solution. Problem Solvers remain in Dark.
• Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.
• I'm so poor that I can't afford to pay attention.
• God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.
• Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
• I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.
• The politicians divide the country by Words, while the terrorists unite it with bullets.
• The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
• When you ASSUME, it makes an ASS out of U and ME.
• Under capitalism man exploits man. Under socialism it's just the opposite.
• The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application.

Interesting GTalk status messages

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Save earth, this is the only planet where you get girls :)

The problem doesn't lie with me.... the problem lies with your expectations.

Be nice to nerds, chances are you'll end up working with one.

SEX is not the answer. SEX is the question and YES is the answer!!

Heaven won't take me and hell's afraid I'll take over.

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.

I can only please one person per day. Today isn't your day...and tomorrow don't look good either.

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?

Great People like us work on the principle of rockets, Not that we aim for the skies but we dont start performing unless ur ass is on fire

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

REASONS behind the REASONS are the REASONS due to REASONS.

Chuck Norris can parse HTML with regex.

Linux: the operating system with a CLUE... Command Line User Environment.

Reducing the number of atheists in India since 1989 - Sachin Tendulkar!

People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs in the first place!

I am not HANDSOME guy, but i can give my HAND to SOME guy who needs my help - ABDUL KALAM.

Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.

To kiss a miss is strategy and miss a kiss is tragedy.

Surely it’s no coincidence that the word "listen" is an anagram of the word "silent".

I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline. Got a call centre in Pakistan. Told them I felt suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

There are two types of people , those who divide people into two types, and those who don’t.

This thing, is thing, a thing, good thing, way thing, to thing, keep thing, an thing, idiot thing, busy thing, for thing, 20 thing, seconds thing! … Now read without
the word thing.

Both pessimist and optimist contributed to world. Optimist invented aero plane and pessimist , the parachute.

People are made to be Loved & Things are made to be Used. The confusion in the World is, People are being Used & Things are being Loved.

I want to change the world but God won't give me the Source Code ... :(

If you are not living life on the edge.. You are taking too much space.

You can also view some interesting quotes here.

Some good Quotes

Here are some of my favourite quotes, I collected them over a period of time, not in any particular order.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. -Dave Barry

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. -Francis Bacon

It takes a lot of experience for a girl to kiss like a beginner. -Ladies Home Journal

Seven days without laughter make one weak. - Joel Goodman

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labour!

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

10 Terrorists came by Boat, 539 terrorists will come by your vote, vote Carefully

You shouldn't say it is not good. You should say, you do not like it; and then, you know, you're perfectly safe.

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.  ~Fred Allen

We judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions.

If we were meant to talk more & listen less, we’d have two mouths & one ear.

The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind but how to get the old ones out.

People ask you for criticism but they only want praise.

Brains are like mouths; when empty they blather, when full they digest. - Pete Harrison

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you, but if you really make them think, they'll hate you.

Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it. - Rene Decartes

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself. -

Being successful is like being pregnant , everyone congratulates you but no one knows how much you got screwed to get there.

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. ~ Einstein

God gives and forgives. Man get and forgets.

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work. Practice is when something works, but you don't know why. Programmers combine theory and practice: Nothing works and they don't know why.

To err is human. To keep erring is inhuman.

Inside every large program, there is a small program trying to get out.

Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

If a million monkeys were typing on computers, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

The key to understanding recursion is to begin by understanding recursion. The rest is easy.

In software, the chain isn't as strong as its weakest link; it's as weak as all the weak links multiplied together.

I'm so poor that I can't afford to pay attention.

There are two rules for success: 1.) Don't tell all you know.

Art is work, to sell it is art.

God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

All desirable things in life are either-- illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

Bad is never good until worse happens.

It is the woman who chooses the man who will choose her.

Time you enjoy wasting, is not wasted.

I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.

Intelligence is like underwear, everyone has it but you don't have to show it off.

The politicians divide the country by Words, while the terrorists unite it with bullets!!!
       
Radar spelled backwards is radar. They get you coming and going.

When you ASSUME, it makes an ASS out of U and ME.

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application.

API design is like sex: make one mistake and support if for the rest of your life.

You can also view some interesting Gtalk status messages here.